Active Parenting

Journal Questions:

♦ Share a success you had at home this week using any of the Active Parenting skills you
learned in the first lesson.
♦ The video we are about to see is about winning cooperation with our children. Why is it important for
children to learn how to cooperate with parents and with others?
♦ We will also be learning some powerful communication skills. Write down some of the things
your own parents did to either block communication with you or to open it up?

Journal Questions:

1. What did you learn or relearn from this lesson?
2. Why is teaching your children cooperation so important to their success?
3. How can problems be useful in teaching your children cooperation?
4. What does it mean to “own” a problem? When a problem comes up in your family, how can you
determine who owns it?
5. What are some communication blocks that you tend to use with your children?
6. What are the qualities that make someone a good listener and helper—someone with whom you would
want to share a problem?
7. Let’s review some of the five steps of Active Communication. What does it mean to “listen actively”?
8. Step two is to “identify and respond to feelings.” Why is that important?
9. Why is it also important to help your children “look for alternatives and evaluate consequences”?
10. The fourth step is to “offer encouragement.” What are some ways you can do this?
11. What did you learn from the family enrichment activity about bedtime routines? Will you give this idea
a try this week?
12. What are some times and some ways you have found to say “I love you” to your children?

This week, look for ways to put the skills of Active Communication to work in your family.  Our next session will focus on the important topics of responsibility and discipline.

Journal Questions:

♦ Write down a success you had at home this week using any of the skills we learned from lesson #2?
♦ The video we are about to see is about responsibility and discipline. Why do you think responsibility is
such an important character trait to develop in our children?
♦ How do you feel about the way your own parents disciplined you?
♦ What do you think are some of the keys to effective discipline?

1. What did you learn or relearn from this lesson?
2. Why do you think children sometimes need discipline to learn to behave well?
3. The lesson makes the point that there are better discipline methods available today than spanking and
other harsh forms of punishment. What are some of these methods?
4. In this lesson we learned about using “I” messages. Let’s construct one together for a parent-owned problem
that one of you is having with your child. (Use an example from the lesson.)
“I have a problem with ____________. I feel ____________, because ______________. I would like
you to _________________.”
5. What logical consequence could you use if the “I” message is not effective? Remember there are
two types:
Either/Or Choice: “Either _____________ or _____________. You decide.”
When/Then Choice: “When you have ________________, then you may _________________.”
6. What did you learn about preventing problems through a family meeting?
7. What are some examples of topics you might use for a “problem prevention talk” at home this week?
8. What was the family enrichment activity for this week? Why is it important to “catch ‘em being good”
and to encourage improvement?

Closing
You have a lot to practice this week. Our next session is one you’ll find very encouraging. It’s called “Building Courage & Self-Esteem.”

Journal Questions:

♦ Write down a success at home using some of the discipline skills they learned from the last lesson.
♦ This lesson is about instilling courage and self-esteem in our children. Why do you think these
qualities are so important?
♦ Have you ever held back from trying something new because you were afraid of failure?

Journal Questions:

1. Now that we’ve seen the videos from this lesson, let me ask you again, why is courage such an important quality to instill in our children?
2. What did you learn from the lesson about the "think-feel-do" cycle?
3. We learned four methods of turning discouragement into encouragement. Instead of focusing on
mistakes, how can you build on your children’s strengths?
4. Instead of pampering and overprotecting, how can you stimulate independence in your children?
5. What did you think about the allowance vignette? How many of you give your children allowance?
How many of you might start doing it now?
6. Instead of having negative expectations of your children, how can you show confidence in them?
7. Instead of expecting too much or being a perfectionist, how can you show acceptance of your children?
8. What is one strength you have as a parent?
9. Your family enrichment activity assignment is to write letters of encouragement to your children. What
are some of the things you will write about?

Closing
This week, look for ways to encourage your children at home, and remember to write them letters of
encouragement. Next week we’ll look at power struggles and how to use your new skills to redirect
misbehavior.

Journal Questions:

♦ What are some ways you found to encourage your children this week?
♦ This lesson is about understanding our children’s behavior. Why do you think children misbehave?
♦ How many of you often find yourself angry with your child? Have you ever wondered why? This lesson
will shed some light on that subject and give us some insight into those familiar power struggles.

Journal Questions:

1. What did you learn or relearn from this lesson?
2. What are some examples of how your children pursue the four basic goals of behavior: belonging,
power, protection, and withdrawal?
3. Think of a recent conflict you had with your child. Did you feel annoyed, angry, hurt, or helpless? How
did the child respond to your correction: by stopping and starting again, by refusing, by escalating the
conflict, or by giving up? Use your answers to determine the child’s negative approach:
annoyance + stopping & starting = undue attention seeking
anger + refusal = rebellion
hurt + escalation = revenge
helplessness + giving up = avoidance
4. How many of you have had power struggles with a child? How do you “pay off” his or her rebellion?
5. When we fight or give in to a child in a power struggle, we pay off rebellion. What can we do instead?
6. What do the letters stand for in the FLAC method? How can you use the FLAC method to sidestep a
power struggle?
7. What information in this lesson did you relate to most? Why?
8. For the family enrichment activity, what is a skill you can teach your child, or what is a skill that your
child might be able to teach you?

Closing
This week, try to determine your children’s goals of behavior and their negative approaches when they
misbehave, then look for ways redirect them to positive approaches. Also, work on sidestepping power
struggles without fighting or giving in. Our next session will focus on helping our children succeed in
school and beyond.

Journal Questions:

♦ This lesson is about how you can support your children’s success in school. What are some areas
you think the lesson will emphasize?
♦ We will continue our emphasis on family meetings with a look at how you can begin talking with your
children about the risks of using tobacco, alcohol, and other drugs. What kind of meetings do you have
now as a family?
♦ Have you ever considered that your family is the most important family in the world…to your children?

Journal Questions:

1. Which of the “Seven Smart Things Active Parents Do to Help Their Children Succeed in School” are
you already doing? Which do you think you will start doing after watching that video?
2. What are some of the ways the video suggested to enhance reading time with your children?
3. Why is it important to encourage your children’s teachers?
4. What are some ways that you can support your children with their homework?
5. What are some ways you can filter negative influences out of your children’s lives? How about filtering
in positive influences?
6. One type of family meeting discussed in the video is called a “character talk.” What topics have you
already talked about with your children? What topics do you plan to discuss in the future?
7. How would you talk to your child about tobacco, alcohol, and other drugs? 
8. Our final family enrichment activity is about emphasizing family unity. What is a family story that you
could share with your children to help them get sense of their history and roots?
9. What makes your job as a parent one of the most important jobs in the world?

Closing
We’ve covered a lot of material in this program. I wouldn’t expect you to remember it all from the first
pass, so be sure to review what you have learned and keep it fresh in your mind. Continue to practice your new skills, and before long they will begin to feel natural to you.

Next you will see some added attachments to supplement your learning.

Lastly, you will take a test over the course. You must pass the test to complete this course and receive a certificate.

You must pass the exam with a 70 in order to receive your certificate.